“I feel annoyed with you because you never return my messages in a timely manner.”
Ouch. Feeling a bit defensive now?
Let me put this in another way. “It makes me feel really cared about when you get back to me soon because then I can solidify my plans better.”
The first approach is holding you responsible for the way I feel. The second approach gives you information that may help you become a more caring person.
(The directness of the first approach may be healthier than “getting even” in a passive/aggressive manner or feeding the gossip mill by complaining about you behind your back.) But, let’s dig deeper.
Admittedly, it’s really difficult not to hold other people responsible for our own feelings. Yet in truth they are triggering our internal fears. When we are angry or hurt the best question we can ask ourselves is, “What am I afraid of?”
If we’re honest the answer will be some form of, “I’m not being loved well enough.” Which translates to “I’m afraid that I’m not lovable.” Next, connect with the Source of all love and bathe in that essence.
It takes courage to let others know what our needs are. But once we do, letting go of the outcome of how they respond is significant. Otherwise we’ll just get caught up in a cycle of duality where the blame game is in full play, and being right becomes more important than being loving.
When we are upset with someone it is really essential to make an honest attempt to process our own feelings first. Then when we communicate with others it is much more likely to come from our heart. The recipient may then see it as a discussion instead of a confrontation.
We simply give people the information they need to make responsible choices on our behalf. If they continue to ignore our requests, then options about how to proceed with the relationship become clearer.
Take good care of yourself and know that you are always loved even if the humans don’t do a very good job of it.
Deer teaches us to connect with Spirit as it is in stillness that all true communication takes place. Our Creator loves us always and forever. When we remember that we are pure love then we naturally spread that emotion to others, even while making our needs known.
Deer teaches us to be gentle and fully engaged in the joy of Being.
Pen Augustin is author of Waves of Light and The Priestess Tale series. She is also founder of Lady of the Lake Holistic Health. Pen loves to give messages about how we can heal ourselves and bring balance to our beloved planet. Living near the beautiful shores of Lake Michigan, she enjoys spending time in nature and communing with the local wildlife.