I’ve had a cold spot on the right side of my sacrum for . . . I don’t know . . . decades? It’s where the right side of the inverted triangle meets up with my coccyx. It’s more annoying than painful. Especially so, because I’m in the mind/body biz. And my mind part likes to chastise me for not having completely dissolved this issue . . . BY NOW.
Ah, first and/or second chakra, security issues you may be thinking to yourself. And I may respond . . . yeah . . . sure . . . guess so. But let me tell you, I’ve done a boatload of internal work to release fears around this, that and those other things. It goes away and then . . . nope . . . there it is again.
Ugh. My life is a lot more stable than it has ever been. The original injury took place when I was 19, living on my own without support from anyone, working full time, and going to school full time. So it made sense that I would fall down cement steps and shatter my tailbone. I was forced to slow down and take better care of myself. On the physical level there could be scar tissue, a cyst, a tumor, or just a nerve that gets aggravated from time to time. The form doesn’t matter to me at all ~ I am determined to get to root cause.
So I go inside ONCE AGAIN, and zero in. “Dear Spot, what are you trying to tell me this time?” Take care of me, is all I hear. “Who is the me?” I ask, expecting to hear the name of someone I can help. I wait. Me. “OMG ~ you mean me as in myself!”
Caregivers give because it’s what we must do. I, for one, have been programed for the job since birth. My mom even named me after a nurse from As the World Turns. Having much younger siblings, it was my job to make sure they were taken care of, and I’ve assumed the caregiver role ever since.
That is, until my body stops me and says hey girl . . . what about ME! So I’ve redefined what that cold spot means to me. Now I’m going to see it as a good reminder. Thank you dear Spot, for making me aware. What a gift you give me by prompting me to take good care of myself.
When I give myself love and support, my body feels good and my energy levels go up. Then I have more to give to others. So this Valentine’s season, I’m going to pay attention and love my self first. I hope you do the same.
There is a poem I am so very happy to share with you. I read it in all my Reiki classes. It’s by Karyn Mitchell (the Reiki Master Teacher of my Reiki Master Teacher, Robert Dubiel). It’s beautiful ~ and I hope every caregiver out there really hears the message and loves your Self well!
Love Your Self
To heal yourself you must first love your Self
Love your Self first.
Love first that Little One hiding deep inside
So lost and alone . . . abandoned
To the night, to fear, and the hopelessness of being so small
Dirty, hurt, and frightened . . .
Love that Little One first.
Headlong you fell into a cruel world, trusting and innocent,
Crashing fast into steel-hard reality.
Heal that Little One first.
Love next that rejected adolescent
Brooding alone, sensitive, silent.
Bearing the scarlet letter of society’s guilt and shame
With total Self-lost confusion.
Insecure, doubting, mistrustful . . .
It is time to embrace the child-no-longer
And weep for the loss of innocent vision.
Heal the pain that this one shares with no one.
It is time. It is you.
Love the adult whose eyes now gaze back at you
For the journey alone has been a long one
And you now realize that the only one
Who must truly give you what you need
The most in life . . . is you.
And what you need is love.
Love your Self, heal your Self.
Only then will you know the way
To help others heal with the same truth.
Love your Self. Heal your Self. Teach others.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!! I Love you ~ and I hope you do too!!!
Pen Augustin is author of Waves of Light and The Priestess Tale series. She is also founder of Lady of the Lake Holistic Health. Pen loves to give messages about how we can heal ourselves and bring balance to our beloved planet. Living near the beautiful shores of Lake Michigan, she enjoys spending time in nature and communing with the local wildlife.