It’s 4 AM and I’m awoken by a sensation in the middle of my chest. I sit straight up as I have had gallbladder attacks before, mainly in my 40s and once in my 50s, but that was after I ate a whole brick of buttery garlic bread. Hmm, the sushi I ate the night before should not be triggering this kind of pain. Three hours go by and all my attempts to energetically move the pain out of my body are for not. In fact, now I’m breathing shallowly and having my husband help me into a hot tub of Epsom salts. But, the pain intensifies and starts to move into my upper chest, neck, jaw, and even my teeth hurt.
Jeez, I have not ended up in the ER since I was 19 and fell down cement steps in a snowstorm. “63 year old with severe chest pain,” the receptionist calls back to the crew. Well, that got everyone helping me pronto. Once the nurse confirms that my heart is in a normal rhythm, I look her in the eye and tell her that I will love her forever if she would start an IV and give me some of those wonderful Opioids I’ve heard so much about. She smiles, complies with my wishes, and I must say the Opioid gods did not disappoint.
The ER doc was not used to be puzzled, so he ordered more and more tests. All pelvic, abdominal, and chest CT scans, ultrasounds, and lab tests came back normal. He saw my medical records and knew how scantily I have ever used western medicine for anything, but he also knew my pain was very severe or I would never have visited him. Finally he just said, “Let’s see this as a good thing, now you know that every organ and tissue in your body is very healthy.”
The next day I followed up with my primary doctor and to both our relief she came up with a logical, physical reason for what happened. “After they gave you the pain meds, your duct may have relaxed enough for you to pass a stone, so when they did the tests it had already been traveling through your intestines. Although, it is odd that your gallbladder has no other stones at all.” Whew, even though I knew there was a holistic ~ mind/body/emotional component to all that transpired, I was still happy to have something concrete to point to, so as not to feel like a crazy person.
So now it is time to do the deeper dive into the message of the stone. First, I wanted to thank my body for grabbing my attention to alert me that some changes were necessary going forward in my life. Like a stone blocking a duct, what was I not letting go of? The biggest conflict that I’ve been wrestling with is the desire to retire. It has been such a pleasure and an honor working with clients as they share the deepest parts of their life with me. But, how do you leave a job you love?
Here is some of the guidance I received. Every part of life has a season and if you don’t move forward in divine timing, then body messages come to encourage you. You’ve known what to do for a while now, but you are good at making excuses. You know what is even dearer to you in your heart. We encourage you to follow it!
What I really desire is to delve more into the mystical and creative sides of life. My love of nature continues to grow and I want to spend time in stillness out in the wild.
I am going to let Lady of the Lake disappear into the mists now. I love her and I am grateful for the richness she brought to my life. Who knows what the future will bring? Maybe she’ll ride in on a new Wave of Light someday.
Thanksgiving is the perfect time to be announcing my retirement, because I am so immensely grateful for all my clients who have touched my heart in ways too numerous to count. I will think of you and send you love always! I hope you stay connected with me via my newsletter/blog and books! May your journeys be truly blessed.
Pen Augustin is author of Waves of Light and The Priestess Tale series. She is also founder of Lady of the Lake Holistic Health. Pen loves to give messages about how we can heal ourselves and bring balance to our beloved planet. Living near the beautiful shores of Lake Michigan, she enjoys spending time in nature and communing with the local wildlife.